We live in a world and society in which we have so much access to information and to each other. In many ways, this can be such a beautiful thing. We can watch each other grow and take on new ventures. We can celebrate with one another. We can sit in grief with one another. But with this access also comes anxiety and fear around what others think. We so often filter our actions and what we say out of fear of what others think. This mentality bleeds into other facets of our lives.
The most interesting thing about this dynamic is that we are the ones passing judgment both on ourselves and others. We are making assumptions about what people think due to our own insecurities and our own inability to stand in our power. Now, I am not saying live your life like you don't care. But how different would your life look if you were able to still care, but stand in your power while doing so? How do we say "I will no longer feed this behavior or these thoughts" while also maintaining our authentic selves? Can we hold space for both?
I have had so many experiences lately where I have caught myself thinking to myself, "Damn, Loveleen, you really handled that situation differently." Those moments have left a smile on my face and have allowed me to freely exhale.
I have recently had many interesting dating experiences. I am honestly the queen of getting ghosted. Y'all... when I say that I would go down a dark path when I got ghosted... but the last few experiences have left me relieved. I didn't go back begging. I didn't sit around and talk mean about the men. I simply allowed the situation to end. I didn't need to explain myself, and I didn't need an explanation. It wasn't because I didn't care. I did. But I was able to see that it didn't have to do with me being good or bad or with him being good or bad.
Now, I could sit around thinking "Why was I not good enough?". However, I am more than enough. I chose to stand in my power to allow what I was able to allow and to let what needed to exit my life to just simply exit. I could also think about how all my friends are in relationships, getting married, and having kids. I see it everywhere, especially on social media. But them getting married and having kids does not make me less than. That just isn't my journey at this time. It has taken me many years to get to this space. It has taken me turning 30 years old to really know that I can stand in my power and still care. I can take the experiences and learn from them but still move forward as my true, authentic self and without passing judgement.
This post today really is just a brain dump of all the thoughts that I have had recently about standing in your power. It may not fully flow, but it is everything that has been on my heart, and I thought I would just share. I will most certainly be speaking on this topic again.
But that is all for now.
With Love,
Dr. Kaler